Reflections of March

I have to say, once again, I am happy to see another month go.  This month wasn't nearly as horrid as the last, and it seemed to go by a little quicker.

Reflecting on the month, there were a few firsts.  Stryker's first day of Doggie Daycare, my new (and first) FRG position as a co-lead.  There were also stressful and not so stressful work days.  Some major changes at work.  Some major hoops we've had to jump through for the Army.  Lots of baking.  Hints of beautiful Washington weather which will hopefully carry on into the summer.

It's really strange to feel so grateful that 31 days of your life are gone, because people often say live each day as it were your last.  For some reason I have a very hard time doing that.  I take advantage of opportunities if they come my way, most of the time at least.  But it's very hard to be "normal" and have that complete joy of living your life to the fullest when you know such a large piece of it is missing.

With that I say goodbye to March, and hello to April.  Hopefully April gives me very very good things.

Tuesday Quote

I don't do this much, but I'm gong to post a quote that a friend of mine posted on her Facebook page yesterday.  I thought it was a good one and one we all appreciate!

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.

– Ronald Reagan

Happy Tuesday,

Looking for Words that Start with "M"

So the boring unoriginal person I am decided to think of a word that started with an M because it's Monday.  People often times are clever with this, I on the other hand am not.

So as I'm looking at different places for inspiration, I fell upon the website The Devil's Dictionary.  I think it's worth taking a look at if you're in need of some sarcasm, or a laugh.  Just to warn you, it can be offensive too.

In other news, I worked today, Stryker went to doggie daycare, and I haven't heard from Jesse in a little while.  With word of a surge, and the weather heating up over there, I can only imagine this is going to become more frequent than not.  Lets hope more on the not side.

I got off work today and stopped by the commissary.  I wanted to hit it just right:  not a payday, a weekend, or a combination of both.  So I got there on a monday afternoon, which wasn't too bad.  I have to say I forgot how cheap things tend to be there, even as cheaper often times leads to spending more money than intended.  Something I obviously need to work on after this trip.  If the commissary only had a meat counter - which, I can't recall if many do?  How quickly I forget.  Not having a meat counter (or a the ability to carry wine...I'll save that for a later post) kinda sucks.  And by meat counter I mean a place where you can pick out fish, beef, chicken, etc...Not the sliced stuff.  They have NO selection of FISH.  Which brings me to my next point:  I am a fish snob.

More importantly, salmon.  Salmon I love.  I am from the west coast, and more importantly pacific northwest.  Salmon is awesome (and even though I don't love it as much so are clams, oysters, etc.  You get the picture).  Love it.  Love the fact that all the rich in omega-3's, wild caught, brilliant colored fish live here (or in AK, I'll give them some credit too). It seriously makes me cringe to think of buying Atlantic farmed salmon.  See?  Fish snob.

I have to commend the commissary though, because I found organic bulgar and quinoa that I didn't find easily in my local Fred Meyer store.  Even though giving Fred Meyer some credit, they have great fish and an AMAZING wine selection.  Not to mention their breads int he organic section = love.  Yes, I have issues.

So anyway I am home now, one of my friends are going to come by to drop something off.

My week is going to be decently busy.  Oh, and Jesse and I may attend a Cavalry ball come summer (ball = formal).  The unit he's attached with invited him.  I contacted the FRG to ask them some questions, and they were so excited that I inquired.  I think it would be a blast.  Two days of dressing up (because we'd definitely attend his unit's ball), getting my hair done and looking gorgeous?  Why would I say no?

Have a great week, all.  I know it's spring break for many....Enjoy!

Quote of the Day

I'm still not in the mood to write anything, but found a quote I'd like to share.

"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse." 
- John Stuart Mill

Have a good week everyone!

So it's Saturday

I feel defeated today, but for reasons I can't yet explain.  I truly don't want to make this a "teaser" for you, but I'm still trying working on an issue, not a huge issue, but a decent sized one.  I just would hate to jinx it now.

Yesterday I did nothing.  Today was pretty much the same.  I hoped today for some retail therapy, but when I got to the mall I felt out of place.  Like I shouldn't be there or something.  It's a strange feeling.

Any motivation I once had seems to have fizzled.  If I could wrap myself up in a blanket and sleep all day, I probably would do that.  Thank goodness for Stryker I guess, who keeps me from completely losing my mind.

Speaking of Stryker, I watched him finish off his Kong (I started giving him this as his treat again for before bed).  He's quite amazing, how he knows how to get stuff out of that thing.  He literally stands it upright for a moment, then knocks it over to look and see if the treats fall out.  Yes, I have no life.

I will try and update more soon on our current situation.  I really hope it is a positive outcome.

Have a good weekend,

I've Got a Feeling

And not the best one.

I have a feeling that leave date is going to be pushed back....

Ugh.

I know that the later the date is, the less time left I'll have between the actual, good reunion.  The reunion where I don't have to worry anymore, rearrange my schedule for a conversation, or wait for a phone call.

But, there is still a ways to go.

Here's to counting down the days......

Peanut Butter Banana Bread

I decided to make this yesterday because Jesse really likes banana bread and peanut butter, so I thought this would be a great recipe to try.  He's also very picky, so I wanted to try it out before I made it for him.

I personally don't think he would completely approve of the bread (I don't think it has enough peanut butter flavor) but it's moist in the inside and has the taste of bananas and a light scent of peanut butter.

A lot of people wanted this recipe, so I thought I would share with all of you (courtesy of The Mixing Bowl):

• 2 c. all-purpose flour
• 2 tsp. baking soda
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 1/2 c. butter, softened
• 1/2 c. packed brown sugar
• 1/2 c. granulated sugar
• 1/2 c. peanut butter
• 2 eggs
• 2 bananas, mashed
• 1/2 c. chopped walnuts (I always omit these, Jesse doesn't like nuts)

1. Preheat oven to 350*F.  Grease a 9x5-inch loaf pan; set aside.  In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt; set aside
2. In a large bowl, cream together the butter, brown sugar, granulated sugar, peanut butter, and eggs.  Stir bananas into creamed mixture until combined.  Add the flour mixture and nuts.  Mix well.
3. Pour patter into prepared pan.  Bake 55-60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
4. Cool for 15 minutes.  Remove loaf from pan to finish cooling on a wire rack.  Makes 10-12 servings.

If you try it, let me know what you think!

Happy Wednesday,

Tears

So today I'm in the car driving home from my parents house and that new song by Train comes on.  I like the song, it seems very happy-go-lucky, and gives me a good happy feeling.  So as I think about the song, I think about Jesse.  I think about how I'm going to react when I pick him up for R&R (getting closer now!). I don't know why I think of this reunion more than his actual homecoming, maybe because he's invited a zillion people to come to his homecoming (not thrilled about that) and this is just going to be me and him.  No one else.  That feels pretty good.

So as I start thinking about that I think of how I'll probably cry.  Now, crying is something I have been doing much more freely since he has left.  I cry at the Biggest Loser, when a man or woman cries on TV (real or fiction), when someone loses a spouse or almost loses one (real or fiction again, lol), or when I start thinking about men and women KIA, MIA, and wounded and their families.  This is something that is a bit more new to me -- tears coming so freely.  I believe it's a combination of his absence and me being alone enough to cry.  Nonetheless it's just about ridiculous.  So, I believe I'll be crying when I pick him up from the airport (likely I will be meeting him at his gate) and I can only imagine that I'll be making a scene.  Thats what it looks like in my head, at least.

I then start thinking about how I thought I was going to handle him being gone.  To be honest, I thought I was going to be a complete mess.  I have been around a few women during a deployment who were pretty much that:  a mess.  I think to an FRG leader I met a while back who told me that before deployment she had everyone picked out:  who was going to be the problem and who wasn't.  She said that everything ended up being the exact opposite of what she thought.

So I am curious, when you learned of your looming deployment, how did you think you would handle it?  Did it end up being that way?

Me, I am not a complete mess like I thought I was going to be.  I (even though I cry when I'm alone with the TV) am holding up quite well.  I dealt with Jesse after his previous trip to the middle east, and even though I didn't know him before he left, I sure dealt with a lot of his reintegration when he got back home.  I knew what he did over there the first time, how limited contact would be.  I think that helps some, even though I will admit I currently do talk to him more often than most other wives from our unit.  One thing that surprises me though is that I'm not crying every day or sitting around acting helpless.  I totally thought I was going to be that person.

On a lighter note, I am thinking about doing the Couch to 5K "program" to try and get my butt in gear.  Some girls from the FRG want to be involved in a 5K come June, and I would love to participate if possible.  I want to start my "training" this week, then when Jesse is home on leave we're going to *attempt* attending some spin classes, and hopefully getting in that swing will make life better for me.

I also want to go to Crystal Mountain for Easter, I think it would be amazing to do.  Watching the sun rise over the snow capped Cascades, what would be better than that?  I also wanted to go to an Easter service, and had no clue where.  So, weather permitting, I think I'm going to do it (I think I can rope at least my father in to go with me).  Besides, no snowboarding required.  I would likely fall on my face many times before I got to the bottom of the mountain...And that's just not pretty!

When Jesse's home on leave I also want to attend the tulip festival in Mount Vernon.  That would be awesome.

Right now I'm thinking....You only live once.  So I'm going to get out there and make that one time count.

Have a great week, I am off to get my house in gear for my houseguest (Taylor) who is going to be residing at my house for a couple of nights!  Wish me luck that he doesn't eat me out of house and home ;)